Things have been hectic (which is actually a lot better than having things be stagnant) and I find that there are a few things that I'm CRAVING.
1. Writing. Oh my god, I long to write, HOW I FUCKING LONG TO WRITE without stress eating my frazzled brain or someone/thing making continuous loud sounds (like the LOUD SOUNDS coming from the kitchen RIGHT THIS SECOND). Writing is my release; I use my words and I find it very effective and I really miss being able to do it.
2. On a related note, I also really want it to be quiet for more than 30 seconds. Actually, at this point, I'd pretty happily take 30 seconds worth of silence. The funny thing is that I'm not even usually a "silence" person- I grew up in a Loud House, and I don't generally mind noise but I've reached my breaking point and IT JUST NEEDS TO BE QUIET FOR A WHILE.
3. A good cry. I'm actually starting to miss crying, and I just... can't, right now. It's kind of physically impossible to cry- like I can feel my tear ducts kind of... do something? And there's a little bit of dry heaving? (It's a really sexy process.) And then... nothing. I suspect that once I start crying about something, I'm going to start crying about EVERYTHING that I need to cry about, and while it's going to be a relief to see that I don't REALLY have ice water running in my veins, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Knowing my luck, it'll be during the next time I have sex, and while there's not really anything wrong with a few tears, I don't really want to start sobbing. And now that I'm worried about it, I know it'll happen for sure.