Tuesday, July 10, 2012


Boys SUCK and I am well quit of them.

I usually don't like to publicly write about the more private aspects of my life because I hate when shit turns into Chelsea's Adventures in the Wasteland that is Men, but really, boys are stupid, and you should throw rocks at them. BIG ROCKS. AND THROW THEM HARD. This post really has no point to serve other than for me to talk about being so over dudes and their crap; like I don't even. I'm at the point where I'm almost not even dreading being a year older, because only assholes go for the "barely legal" thing and also? I think I'm ready. For better guys. Like, really, give me someone mature with a backbone, if that even exists. And if it doesn't then I'm totally going to be single forever, and get eaten by cats because I just cannot even, anymore. I'm DONE with "truth by technicalities" and being seen as the equivalent of a coloring book- an excellent time killer, but still cheap and not really what you consider worthwhile- and I'm done with flat-out not being appreciated for being the amazing person I am, and I will never, EVER, take less than I deserve, ever again.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday: Fairs, Fighting, and Family

I had a happy Fourth of July- actually, I was working at a fair so I was very tired, but I had tons of fun watching fireworks with a very dear friend of mine! And then yesterday I did another event, and you know, I think that people need to maybe NOT hang around my booth if they have no intentions of buying things? By all means, look around and take your time and enjoy my display, and if you decide not to buy anything? I'm not even mad! But if your sole intention is to, like, chat me up, because you're not buying what I'm selling, but you'd buy SOMETHING ELSE that really isn't for sale, you should knock it the hell off.

I mentioned this to my mom, and she told me to quit giving everyone bedroom eyes all the damn time, which is a gross overstatement of how often I give bedroom eyes. And then I'm like, "It's how I get affection, because you're an absentee parent," and she's like, "YOU ARE TWENTY YEARS OLD," and then I accuse her of loving my brothers more than she loves me and harass her until she says I am her favorite. That's how everyone interacts with their business partners, right?

Oh, and there was totally some guy stomping on some other guy's face and shouting about his sister, and I wanted to know what the stompee did to his sister, but it seemed like really poor form to ask. I think it's more that I'm nosy, than that I'm concerned about the well-being of strangers. And I do care, but I'm very, very nosy. "Curiosity killed the cat" is so apt, because when I don't know things, I feel like I might die a little. Believe me, that never causes friction in my personal life. Not even a tiny bit.

Monday, July 2, 2012

For the Birds

Nothing terribly important happened over the weekend, except I decided to start getting over my fear of birds. It's getting silly because I HAVE a bird, and I like him, I really do- but when he starts with the bird stuff (like LOOKING at me), I just can't even. And there's a nest of baby birds on my balcony. I saw them once, poking their heads out, and it's since been easier to pretend they aren't there.

I'm not entirely sure what I have to do in order to not be afraid of birds, but I'll totally do it. I'm probably going to have to ask someone to MAKE me touch one or something, which sounds marginally preferable to death, at least.

Anyway, today I hung out with my cousin, who I'm determined will end up nothing like me. ("Random Teenage Heartthrob is so awesome!"... "You know what's really awesome? STUDYING HARD AND BEING YOUR OWN PERSON AND NEVER TALKING TO BOYS, EVER.") She was watching a Disney Channel thing and I got sucked in, but I was really impressed that the message was "Don't date terrible people, no matter how cute they are!" Because I've had so many moments where I'm like, "YES, I know he's a misogynist who can't spell and possibly has a criminal record and is maybe insane, BUT HE HAS PRETTY EYES!!" And then all my loved ones are like, "Yeah, sure he has pretty eyes, and he keeps them in a jar on his nightstand, and thinks of them fondly when he feasts on the neighborhood cats." But if Disney is going to encourage NOT dating cat-eating whackjobs, I completely approve.