Monday, June 18, 2012

The Finer Points of Turtle Care (or DEAD FOREVER FROM TOUCHING WORMS)

So I'm currently responsible for the care of three turtles, which is different because they aren't anything like cats or guinea pigs. Like at all! They eat WORMS, which means that I have to GIVE THEM WORMS like some kind of worm-toucher. Anyway, I put on gloves prior to getting out the worms, because I'd sooner die, and really, even with gloves it was kind of scarring. You know what makes worms just slip right through your fingers? Wearing gloves. So I'm PINCHING these worms to get a grip on them, and SCREAMING FOREVER, while these turtles are looking up at me, distrustfully HISSING AT ME WHEN I AM TOUCHING WORMS FOR THEM. And all I had for breakfast was half a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese! I DO IT ALL FOR YOU, TURTLES!

Also, two of the turtles kept fighting over one worm when there really were plenty of worms for everyone, because turtles are idiots. Though I was warned that they might escape if I turn my back, because turtles are nothing if not stealthy. Little geniuses in shells, just darting around, being elusive and hard to catch.

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