Fuck.

1. I suspect I'm as bitchy and mean as I am because a few days out of every month, I'm in horrible pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone, even people I hated, even though I wish all kinds of terrible things on people who deserve it. I almost want to have children because the idea that this is all for fucking nothing makes me want to scream, except I don't actually think "having children" is a solution to anything, ever. EVEN TO JUST WANTING CHILDREN. I don't even know. People breed too fucking much.

2. I actually swing wildly from psychotically mean to overly affectionate and incredibly loving. I imagine it's a lot of fun to live with me.

3. I watched some of the Haunting in CT documentary (because apparently that shit was based on a true story). No one was clawing at the walls, so I was mostly just irritated by the whole thing until I saw Ed and Lorraine Warren, because I really just love them. I bet they would've been a lot of fun to go on some kind of double date with. I wonder if when mediums die, do ghosts react the same way I do when my phone isn't working?

4. As I write this, the Aleve is kicking in so I feel nicer. Sometimes when I feel remorse/a desire to be nicer, it feels like someone reaching into my solar plexus and tearing out whatever they can grab. It happens when I'm being a jerk and it hits me that wait, I actually WANT to be nice to this person and OH GOD NO NOT THE FEELINGS.