I'm writing just to prove a point.

I carry a big wooden stick with a rusty hook on the end when I walk- her name is Zelda and she's my beatin' stick. I live in a Walking Neighborhood, so a lot of the people around me ALSO have sticks. They're all inferior to Zelda, but I always feel like people with sticks just fucking Get It. They understand me as only a stick person can.

Also, men hate the stick and frankly seem kind of put off when some girl in a full face of makeup and carrying Zelda smiles at them, like they wouldn't WANT a pretty lady who could fuck them up.

My favorite thing about Zelda is that she looks like some kind of post-apocalyptic weapon- she LOOKS threatening, so I don't actually have to BE threatening. I feel the same way I do when I'm walking with someone I trust to keep me safe- a swagger in my step, a confidence in my own safety. I don't usually have those things. Strangers are threatening when they get aggressive, and I am afraid of dogs. I often feel like a mouse trying to evade hawks.

Not so with Zelda.